I'm sorry. Sorry for what? That I couldn't give him to you alive. - It has been 12 weeks since Otis was born in to the arms of angels. 12 weeks, already. Where is the time going? And I think it is safe to say that they have been the most confusing 12 weeks of… Continue reading I’m sorry I couldn’t give him to you alive.
I remember the first time I felt Otis kick. I was 18 weeks pregnant and I felt that 'butterfly' feeling in my tummy. I knew straight away that it was him, making his presence known. Feeling him move offered so much reassurance. He was the most active little boy during pregnancy; he never stopped moving.… Continue reading I’m here, mummy. I’m here. But I’ve got to go.
I've been asked recently where I see my life going from here ... I've been asked how I'm going to move forward and how I intend on dealing with the death of my son. What many people do not understand is that the way in which I 'cope' with losing Otis can not be planned.… Continue reading Footprints.
Dear Otis, It's really hard living without you. Though you were only on Earth for a short while, you hold a massive piece of my heart. I'm not whole without you. It scares me, knowing I'll never be whole again without you here. But, at the same time I embrace it. I know this only hurts… Continue reading Dear Otis… Thank you.
I've written a little in past blog posts about the day that Otis was picked up from the hospital by the funeral director, but I haven't done one yet just dedicated to that moment. I think, after speaking to a few stillbirth parents, that it's something I should share in more detail. Please bare in mind… Continue reading Leaving the hospital with our sleeping son.